September 2009
178 posts
5 tags
Fact: 154
“So what does it feel like to kill a man with your bare hands? It’s a topic I’m very interested in.”
Esmeralda, Hugo Stiglitz would tell you it’s like breathing, because it’s second nature to him.
5 tags
Fact: 153
True, the name “The Bear Jew” does insight fear, however the name Donny Donowitz does not.
Hugo Stiglitz needs no nickname because the man needs no introduction. Nazis flee from his mere shadow - which also just so happens to be running from him.
6 tags
Fact: 152
The only signature Hugo Stiglitz needs is his fist.
Submitted by RFS
6 tags
Fact: 151
Hugo Stiglitz will not die another day, day will die another Hugo Stiglitz
Submitted by illeopardo
7 tags
Fact: 150
The Fist of Stiglitz…though rich in calcium, is not a part of a balanced breakfast. It’s more of a midnight snack, really.
Submitted by RFS
7 tags
Fact: 149
Hugo Stiglitz can play LPs by spinning the disc on his finger and biting the groove.
Submitted by RFS
7 tags
Fact: 148
Hugo Stiglitz puts his name on everything; because everything is his weapon.
Submited by thebearjew
6 tags
Fact: 147
Hugo Stiglitz doesn’t wear sunblock as the sun can’t burn Hugo Stiglitz, however the sun does wear Stiglitzblock.
Submitted by Jay
5 tags
Fact: 146
Once upon a time, Hugo Stiglitz spit into a petri dish.
You now know what was derived from it as Steroids.
6 tags
6 tags
Fact: 145
bearjewfacts:
The bermuda triangle is in reality where the Bear Jew and Hugo Stiglitz are engaged in a collosal game of hungry hungry hippos.
4 tags
5 tags
Fact: 144
Hugo Stiglitz is a lot like a stepfather: he beats you, you hate it and yet you can do nothing.
6 tags
Fact: 143
Hugo Stiglitz shot first.
Submitted by Anonymous
7 tags
Fact: 142
Hugo Stiglitz wants fries with that goddamnit. And if you ask him again he’ll kill you.
Submitted by Carolyn Poddig
7 tags
Fact: 141
Kanye West apologized because he and Hugo Stiglitz had a little talk.
Submitted by Anonymous
7 tags
Fact: 140
President Truman initially thought of using Hugo Stiglitz in the Pacific Campaign-but decided the Atomic Bomb was a safer bet that wouldn’t result in him being history’s bitch.
Submitted by Anonymous
7 tags
Fact: 139
Hugo Stiglitz was Tony Stark’s inspiration for the Iron Man Suit.
Submitted by Ramen
7 tags
Fact: 138
Contrary to popular belief, Hugo Stiglitz is who Mike Meyers is looking for, NOT his family.
Pray they never find each other.
Submitted by Ramen
7 tags
Fact: 137
The One before Neo was Hugo Stiglitz -and the Matrix let him go with apologies and a gift basket for the ride home.
Submitted by Ramen
7 tags
Fact: 136
Lando Calrissian won Cloud City from Hugo Stiglitz in a card game and supported the empire because he lives in eternal fear of the day Stiglitz wants it back.
Submitted by Ramen
4 tags
Fact: 135
On Halloween Hugo Stiglitz doesn’t give out candy, he gives out one free pass.
Because everyone gets one.
4 tags
5 tags
Fact: 134
Hugo Stiglitz is never late; everyone else is just too early.
7 tags
Fact: 133
Hugo Stiglitz is really Victor Creed in disguise: a psychopathic, homicidal maniac and we all know it. We just haven’t told the entire planet yet for fear of having Hugo’s fists shoved in our mouths while sleeping in bed.
Submitted by thebearjew
5 tags
Fact: 132
Damn it man! Hugo Stiglitz is a Basterd, not a UN Ambassador.
5 tags
Fact: 131
Tyler Durden was really Hugo Stiglitz in disguise.
5 tags
Fact: 130
Hugo Stiglitz is trapped inside a glass box of emotion.
5 tags
Fact: 129
Hugo Stiglitz’s second home is the Death Star.
6 tags
Fact: 128
The first rule about Hugo Stiglitz is that you don’t talk about Hugo Stiglitz.
6 tags
Fact: 127
Hugo Stiglitz follows one creedo: everything and anything that crosses his path dies.
6 tags
Fact: 126
There is no CTRL button on Hugo Stiglitz’s laptop for the sole reason Hugo Stiglitz never loses control.
5 tags
Fact: 125
Neither the chicken nor the egg came first. In the beginning there was only Hugo Stiglitz
Submitted by Ethan B.
6 tags
Fact: 124
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, it still makes a noise because Hugo Stiglitz is everywhere.
9 tags
Fact: 123
The saying, “Don’t poke the sleeping Bear Jew” only exists because people have escaped its wrath to warn others. No one knows if someone has been stupid enough to poke the sleeping Hugo Stiglitz.
After all, dead men tell no tales.
7 tags
Fact: 122
Wolverine’s grafted Adamantium skeleton is actually just a collection of Hugo Stiglitz’s solidified sweat from a hard day of Nazi scalpin’.
6 tags
Fact: 121
Hugo Stiglitz chosen pet is an Alien, from Alien and it cowards in fear of Hugo Stiglitz’s wrath.
6 tags
Fact: 120
Hugo Stiglitz is pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And being Hugo Stiglitz, he plans on finding out.
8 tags
Fact: 119
Compared to Hugo Stiglitz, the Bear Jew is about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop.
Submitted by drmanhattan
6 tags
Fact: 118
Nobody makes Hugo Stiglitz bleed his own blood - nobody!
6 tags
Fact: 117
Hugo Stiglitz doesn’t use words to say hello, he uses his fist. In your mouth.
7 tags
Fact: 116
When it comes to Hugo Stiglitz, you don’t need a picture for a thousand words, just watch his facial expressions.
Submitted by thebearjew
6 tags
Fact:115
Hugo Stiglitz destroyed the periodic table, because Hugo Stiglitz only recognizes the element of surprise.
Submitted by Anon
6 tags
Fact: 114
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Hugo Stiglitz has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
6 tags
Fact: 113
When you’re Hugo Stiglitz, anything + anything is equal to 13…13 dead Gestapo Majors that is.
6 tags
Fact: 112
Hugo Stiglitz does not ‘style’ his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
7 tags
Fact: 111
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Hugo Stiglitz jumps out.
Beware.
Submitted by Liz
6 tags
Fact: 110
When Hugo Stiglitz claps, the lights always turn on. Even if he doesn’t have a Clapper.
7 tags
Fact: 109
Hugo Stiglitz can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
6 tags
Fact: 108
Dear Han Solo,
Hugo Stiglitz can make the Kessel Run in 10 Parsecs.